Note to self: Google "How to be a Mom 101"

I think now that I'm past the first trimester and no longer on the verge of barfing all the time (along with the fact that I now have a protruding belly and we officially announced)...I think the reality is all actually setting in that I'm going to be a mommy.  So much in that I had my first (of many I'm sure) "I'm going to be a horrible mother" attack at the dentist office today. I want to preface that a lot of this is not rational at all, BUT when you are panicking I think it is safe to say your thought process doesn't really make much sense.  I'm just glad for the most part I use discretion in talking to myself in my head rather out loud for the person to see how truly cynical I am. Sometimes.

Side note: I'm purposely skipping over the whole incident where she asked me if I was flossing (in a "well someeeeeeeeeeone hasn't been flossing" tone of voice) and I got unnecessarily angry.  I said a simple "no" but actually wanted to say "If YOU were puking all the time and YOUR gag reflexes were heightened where would "flossing my teeth" be on YOUR to-do list?"

After she cleaned me up and ordered more flossing, she asked if I wanted to schedlue my next 6 month so I said sure.  And it went like this:

Hygenist: Ok, great...let's see....how's June 25th?

Me: Wait, June?

Hygenist: Yep.

Me: Oh gosh. I'll have the baby by then. (Shouldn't have said that out loud)

Hygenist: Yes...you will.

Me: I'm going to be...a mom! (Ding!)

Hygienist: Yes..you will.

Me (envision that "doing math" look on my face): Well, if I'm due at the end of May, I mean.... I can't be going 

to the dentist I'll have to take care of a newborn.

Hygienist (laughing): Well you can still go to the dentist even if you have a baby!

Me: Yeah?

Hygienist: Yes! 

Me (panicking in my head, thankfully): Wait, when can I even take the baby out? Isn't there a rule? Aren't babies not allowed out of the house when they are first born? How long do they need to be quarantined? Wait that's not right, quarantined is only if you have the Black Plague.  If I ask the hygentist she'll think I'm a bad mother already and the baby's not even born yet.  Note to self: Google "when newborns are allowed out" when i get in the car.

Hygienist: So, is that date ok?

Me: Well, I don't know because I don't know if I'll have someone to watch the baby. 

Me (panicking in my head, thankfully): Oh my gosh. I won't have anyone to watch my baby. Maybe Roger and Mayra, they're right next door which is nice.  But Glovie always tries to attack them when they get close to the fence.  That will never work.  If I lived closer to my mom she'd watch the baby anytime I needed during the day.  I wish we lived closer to my parents.  I want my mommy.   Note to self: Call mom.

Hygienist: Well that's ok, you can just bring the baby with you.

Me (panicking in my head, thankfully): She must be kidding me! My baby's gonna get x-ray radiation poisoning and look at all these sharp objects laying around here!! 

Me: Ya know, I'll have to get back to you guys and call you when I know of a good date.

I don't know if this has any indication what is to come, but I'm very thankful the Lord gives you 9 months to prepare...although I have a feeling there isn't really anything that can prepare you for first time mommyhood!!!